Why I'm Here

From an early age, I have seen life a little different than most. Lets say I can see your life different than you. I started as the kid who made people feel special. That's because they are special. I am funny, outgoing and confident. Their desire to have me around fed my desire to be around. It fed my need to belong.

As I grew older I made people feel held, listened and gave advice like it was my job. It came natural to me and the reactions from those people fed my needs to feel important even more. I had finally figured out how to be someone in this world. I would make them feel special, heard and seen. But I struggled.

There was a large downside to this...…I had no coping skills. People told me their problems, from friends and and their mothers to school teachers and supervisors. Adults shared their very adult issues with me. I took them all on and had no way to process or expel them. I held their troubles along with mine. To cope, I started drinking and drugging by 14 years old. It was my unconscious escape. Most of my friends were dealing with heavy issues so this was our common denominator. I also took on the role of their counselor. It was a lonely place but while solving others problems, I was able to avoid looking at my own. Everyone figured I had it all together. I did not.

Finally in my 30's, after a year long bout with severe Postpartum depression, I sought out real help.

I did a deep dive into learning about boundaries. I had never been taught boundaries until my 40's.

I always thought I would be a therapist. I explored the idea many times. I even applied to a school in my 40's. I was rejected. I think I partly sabotaged my interview as I didn't fit with the vibe of the school. The other applicants brought stories of despair to the table where I brought solutions. I was ready to help and change the world and I didn't want to take 2+ years to do it. In the therapy world, there are a lot of laws and parameters that can sometimes inhibit them from having the effect they know they can have. A therapist friend told me to get into coaching. It had no parameters, no sitting in a chair for 8 hours and could be literally what I wanted it to be. So I explored it for a few years and decided to take that path and get certified.

Like so many, I questioned the concept of coaching. But as I learned more and studied more I realized I could do more in that realm than any other out there. There have been so much cringe around the idea of life coaching that its an uphill battle to re/educate you on its benefits. I am here for it though.

I would say I am more of a consultant, guide, cheering section and reality checker. I can usually change your perspective within 15-60 minutes of our first meeting. I am that good and that efficient. Its not always a slow game. I know, personally, if I decide to invest in something, I am ready to work. Some clients come to me last. They've read all the books, talked to friends, consulted the experts and then enter my space. We get to work immediately. Some are ready right away. It's not easy and its not hard. It's just facing it. It's empowering. I see you. I hear you. I will tell it like it is, gently if necessary, or more direct if you will let me. I will refer you to a therapist if there are some traumas that need to be worked through. Try me. I've got you. You can definitely move forward on your own but moving forward with a coach expedites the process and can make it all the more worthwhile!

-Cären